The First Capital Connect Christmas Carol:
On the first day of Christmas FCC sent to me:
the delayed 8.16 to St P.
On the second day of Christmas FCC sent to me:
2 broken seats; and
the delayed 8.16 to St P.
On the third day of Christmas FCC sent to me:
3 signal failures;
2 broken seats; and
the delayed 8.16 to St P.
On the fourth day of Christmas FCC sent to me:
4 carriage trains;
3 signal failures;
2 broken seats; and
the delayed 8.16 to St P.
On the fifth day of Christmas FCC sent to me:
25 minute delays;
4 carriage trains;
3 signal failures;
2 broken seats; and
the delayed 8.16 to St P.
On the sixth day of Christmas FCC sent to me:
6 noisy walkmans;
25 minute delays;
4 carriage trains;
3 signal failures;
2 broken seats; and
the delayed 8.16 to St P.
On the seventh day of Christmas FCC sent to me:
7 ticket inspections;
6 noisy walkmans;
25 minute delays;
4 carriage trains;
3 signal failures;
2 broken seats; and
the delayed 8.16 to St P.
On the eighth day of Christmas FCC sent to me:
8 packed carriages;
7 ticket inspections;
6 noisy walkmans;
25 minute delays;
4 carriage trains;
3 signal failures;
2 broken seats; and
the delayed 8.16 to St P.
On the ninth day of Christmas FCC sent to me:
9 broken promises;
8 packed carriages;
7 ticket inspections;
6 noisy walkmans;
25 minute delays;
4 carriage trains;
3 signal failures;
2 broken seats; and
the delayed 8.16 to St P.
On the tenth day of Christmas FCC sent to me:
10 empty wrappers;
9 broken promises;
8 packed carriages;
7 ticket inspections;
6 noisy walkmans;
25 minute delays;
4 carriage trains;
3 signal failures;
2 broken seats; and
the delayed 8.16 to St P.
On the eleventh day of Christmas FCC sent to me:
11 missing drivers;
10 empty wrappers;
9 broken promises;
8 packed carriages;
7 ticket inspections;
6 noisy walkmans;
25 minute delays;
4 carriage trains;
3 signal failures;
2 broken seats; and
The delayed 8.16 to St P.
On the twelfth day of Christmas FCC sent to me:
12 cancellations;
11 missing drivers;
10 empty wrappers;
9 broken promises;
8 packed carriages;
7 ticket inspections;
6 noisy walkmans;
25 minute delays;
4 carriage trains;
3 signal failures;
2 broken seats; and
the delayed 8.16 to St P.
Happy Christmas. See you next year!
Tuesday 22 December 2009
Monday 21 December 2009
Monday 21st December, 2009
Seems to be a quiet morning as Xmas week gets under way. Decide not to risk waiting for delayed fast train & catch stopping service again.
Longer journey gives me time to reflect on the impact of the new, improved restricted timetable after its first week in operation. I conclude that it can be considered both an abject failure and a complete success.
How can this be?
Well, from a customer's perspective it seemed a total failure. I'm pretty sure there were fewer services scheduled and the timetabling was more erratic. Continuing delays, cancellations, even more overcrowding (if that was possible) and unreliability (I experienced 2 train failures in 10 journeys). The misery continues.
On the other hand, from FCC's perspective I suspect it has been an almost complete success. They may have had increased volume of incoming email, but since I suspect they have set their email system to automatically delete all messages after assigning them with a case reference number this should not have been a great invonvenience. I would guess there has been no dip in revenues since there is no real alternative for the customer and I can only assume that running fewer services, and having no need to pay overtime to drivers must also mean lower costs. Picture the scene - its FCC’s December board meeting:
Item 1, Financial Performance:
Finance Director ‘I can report that ‘Operation Shaft’ seems to be working. We have managed to maintain revenue whilst reducing operating costs thereby increasing our profits for the 4th month running.’
Managing Director ‘Excellent work, well done everybody.’
Item 2, Customer Satisfaction:
Customer Services Director ‘Well I can report that the level of customer complaints increased for the 4th month running.’
MD ‘Excellent work. Proof that ‘Operation Shaft’ is working. The worse our service gets, the better our profits. Well done everybody. Just wait 'till I tell the First Group Board’
Item 3, ‘Operation Shaft’ Next Steps:
MD ‘Right, we’ve done over the drivers, and the customers, can I suggest, Mr Customer Services Director, that we implement phase three of ‘Operation Shaft immediately.’
CSD ‘Remind me ...’
MD ‘Closing the Customer Services Department you fool. Just get them to set up that automatic email response thingy, oh, and draft the responses to the next online ‘Meet the managers’ session before you go. There’s a good chap. Oh, its a face to face session, well just hire the same muppets we sent to the last one.’
Item 4, Managers’ Xmas Bonus ......
Longer journey gives me time to reflect on the impact of the new, improved restricted timetable after its first week in operation. I conclude that it can be considered both an abject failure and a complete success.
How can this be?
Well, from a customer's perspective it seemed a total failure. I'm pretty sure there were fewer services scheduled and the timetabling was more erratic. Continuing delays, cancellations, even more overcrowding (if that was possible) and unreliability (I experienced 2 train failures in 10 journeys). The misery continues.
On the other hand, from FCC's perspective I suspect it has been an almost complete success. They may have had increased volume of incoming email, but since I suspect they have set their email system to automatically delete all messages after assigning them with a case reference number this should not have been a great invonvenience. I would guess there has been no dip in revenues since there is no real alternative for the customer and I can only assume that running fewer services, and having no need to pay overtime to drivers must also mean lower costs. Picture the scene - its FCC’s December board meeting:
Item 1, Financial Performance:
Finance Director ‘I can report that ‘Operation Shaft’ seems to be working. We have managed to maintain revenue whilst reducing operating costs thereby increasing our profits for the 4th month running.’
Managing Director ‘Excellent work, well done everybody.’
Item 2, Customer Satisfaction:
Customer Services Director ‘Well I can report that the level of customer complaints increased for the 4th month running.’
MD ‘Excellent work. Proof that ‘Operation Shaft’ is working. The worse our service gets, the better our profits. Well done everybody. Just wait 'till I tell the First Group Board’
Item 3, ‘Operation Shaft’ Next Steps:
MD ‘Right, we’ve done over the drivers, and the customers, can I suggest, Mr Customer Services Director, that we implement phase three of ‘Operation Shaft immediately.’
CSD ‘Remind me ...’
MD ‘Closing the Customer Services Department you fool. Just get them to set up that automatic email response thingy, oh, and draft the responses to the next online ‘Meet the managers’ session before you go. There’s a good chap. Oh, its a face to face session, well just hire the same muppets we sent to the last one.’
Item 4, Managers’ Xmas Bonus ......
Friday 18 December 2009
Friday 18th December, 2009
Woke to thick snow in St Albans. Kids’ school closed, so imperative that I get to work. Doubly so because today is our Xmas lunch. Trebly because I love the experience of London in winter. That first step out of the station to feel the lovely crunch of virgin gravel and salt mix underfoot, the splash of grey slush up your trouserlegs, ahh bliss...
Checked the FCC website. Trains running. Very pleasant walk to the station (really). Arrive to find the FCC boys and girls clearing snow from the path. Train waiting at the platform. So far, so good.
Boarded train, sat down, waited. Waited some more. Driver announced that train had broken down. Got off train (a ‘passenger disembarkation’ according to official FCC terminology).
Bumped into an old friend on the platform & boarded the next train. Found 2 seats together & sat down. Friend rose again rapidly after unwanted broken spring / buttock interface. Train stopped at all stations to compensate for failure of previous service. Usual pleas from driver to keep doors clear of human or other obstruction to enable them to close. Reached Farringdon somewhat delayed but without further incident.
Message from fellow sufferer with picture of sticker seen on this morning’s train:
Fellow sufferer would like to thank the person who put it there for expressing our feelings. Hear hear!
Head for home, slightly the worse for wear. Catch slightly delayed, slightly blurred random train. Not at all busy. During walk home I reflect on FCC’s performance today and find myself feeling strangely positive. Big cheers for the staff clearing the footpath this morning and, after all, FCC got me there, and back, in reasonable time and without major incident. Then find myself wondering why I feel like this? Plenty of trains have been cancelled or delayed. It has taken three trains to do a job, when ordinarily two would suffice, and my total journey time was probably about 45 mins longer than it should have been had I been confident enough to rely on the running and comfort of the non stopping services. I suppose it was just better for me than the total chaos we have become conditioned to expect on a snowy day.
Checked the FCC website. Trains running. Very pleasant walk to the station (really). Arrive to find the FCC boys and girls clearing snow from the path. Train waiting at the platform. So far, so good.
Boarded train, sat down, waited. Waited some more. Driver announced that train had broken down. Got off train (a ‘passenger disembarkation’ according to official FCC terminology).
Bumped into an old friend on the platform & boarded the next train. Found 2 seats together & sat down. Friend rose again rapidly after unwanted broken spring / buttock interface. Train stopped at all stations to compensate for failure of previous service. Usual pleas from driver to keep doors clear of human or other obstruction to enable them to close. Reached Farringdon somewhat delayed but without further incident.
Message from fellow sufferer with picture of sticker seen on this morning’s train:
Fellow sufferer would like to thank the person who put it there for expressing our feelings. Hear hear!Head for home, slightly the worse for wear. Catch slightly delayed, slightly blurred random train. Not at all busy. During walk home I reflect on FCC’s performance today and find myself feeling strangely positive. Big cheers for the staff clearing the footpath this morning and, after all, FCC got me there, and back, in reasonable time and without major incident. Then find myself wondering why I feel like this? Plenty of trains have been cancelled or delayed. It has taken three trains to do a job, when ordinarily two would suffice, and my total journey time was probably about 45 mins longer than it should have been had I been confident enough to rely on the running and comfort of the non stopping services. I suppose it was just better for me than the total chaos we have become conditioned to expect on a snowy day.
Thursday 17 December 2009
Thursday 17th December, 2009
Stepped out this morning into a flurry of snow. Wonder what havoc that will cause for the new, improved restricted timetable? Nearing the station I was passed by a well dressed gent running at speed. Blimey. Someone running for an FCC train. A rare sight. These days I find myself slowing down as I approach the station.
Arrived to find the delayed 8.27 standing at the platform. Passengers packed in & spilling out of the doors. Platform attendant had to manually close one set of doors. Next service was the theoretical 8.34 to Sevenoaks. Theoretical because the station announcer informed us that it would terminate at Kentish Town due to 'no driver being available'. 'NO DRIVER AVAILABLE!!' How on earth was it going to get to Kentish Town then?? Tried to look into the cab as train arrived. Windows dirty & dark inside but thought I glimpsed a vague outline of a grinning skeletal form wearing a peaked hat. Decided to wait for the 8.42.
8.42 starts at St Albans so made for the declassified first class section again. Beginning to get a taste for this. Standing room only from St A, but no apparent discomfort until West Hampstead, and more so at Kentish Town where, you guessed it, all the passengers who had been turfed off the train with the ghost driver wanted to get on to complete their journey. Doh!!
Made an early break for home to attend my daughter's prizegiving. Left office slightly late, relying on customary FCC delays to enable me to catch 16.43 from Farringdon. I arrived at 16.44. Train had left perfectly on time. Not sure whether to be pleased or disappointed. Caught 16.49.
Arrived to find the delayed 8.27 standing at the platform. Passengers packed in & spilling out of the doors. Platform attendant had to manually close one set of doors. Next service was the theoretical 8.34 to Sevenoaks. Theoretical because the station announcer informed us that it would terminate at Kentish Town due to 'no driver being available'. 'NO DRIVER AVAILABLE!!' How on earth was it going to get to Kentish Town then?? Tried to look into the cab as train arrived. Windows dirty & dark inside but thought I glimpsed a vague outline of a grinning skeletal form wearing a peaked hat. Decided to wait for the 8.42.
8.42 starts at St Albans so made for the declassified first class section again. Beginning to get a taste for this. Standing room only from St A, but no apparent discomfort until West Hampstead, and more so at Kentish Town where, you guessed it, all the passengers who had been turfed off the train with the ghost driver wanted to get on to complete their journey. Doh!!
Made an early break for home to attend my daughter's prizegiving. Left office slightly late, relying on customary FCC delays to enable me to catch 16.43 from Farringdon. I arrived at 16.44. Train had left perfectly on time. Not sure whether to be pleased or disappointed. Caught 16.49.
Wednesday 16 December 2009
Wednesday 16th December, 2009
Head purposefully to station to catch a random train. Find I have the choice of two. A delayed non-stop service from platform 3, or an on time stopping service from platform 1. What a treat. Both platforms equally crowded. Opt for platform 1 so I don’t have to climb the stairs.
Good choice. Filthy carriage, no seat, but I can lean against the luggage rack, another treat. Train gets us all the way to Farringdon without hold up or unwanted intimacy.
FCC's crack team or revenue protection operatives not present today. Shame. Might have given them their Xmas tip.
Text from friend who took the wrong option. Plenty of unwanted intimacy and bad temper. One poor, bewildered passenger, presumably heading for Gatwick, trying to get a large suitcase out of the way. How foolish, expecting there to be space to put a suitcase on a train servicing 2 of London’s major airports.
Good choice. Filthy carriage, no seat, but I can lean against the luggage rack, another treat. Train gets us all the way to Farringdon without hold up or unwanted intimacy.
FCC's crack team or revenue protection operatives not present today. Shame. Might have given them their Xmas tip.
Text from friend who took the wrong option. Plenty of unwanted intimacy and bad temper. One poor, bewildered passenger, presumably heading for Gatwick, trying to get a large suitcase out of the way. How foolish, expecting there to be space to put a suitcase on a train servicing 2 of London’s major airports.
Head home on 17.45 from Farringdon. On time. Busy. Overflowing at West Hampstead. Wonder if there is a limit to how many passengers can be safely accommodated in a train carriage. Find myself thinking that perhaps we should be grateful that, with life increasingly blighted by Health & Safety gone mad, FCC seems a rare Health & Safety free zone. But I don't feel very grateful. More to come on this?
Tuesday 15th December, 2009
Trudge to the station, heading for random train, wondering what the new, improved, reduced service timetable has in store today. At least I don’t live in Harpenden where the improved reduced service timetable includes a half hour gap during peak time with no southbound train departures at all. In fact the new, improved, reduced service timetable has another surprise in store – a phantom train that appears in new, improved, reduced service timetable, but makes no appearance on the station departure boards, or physically.
Platform unusually crowded. Board random train and find a seat in the deregulated first class section (a first). I experience the unusual pleasure of an extra wide, extra padded filthy seat. Remind myself to check the first class prices at season ticket renewal time (just for a laugh).
Train proceeds at full speed. Standing room only from St Albans. Mild discomfort from Radlett. Unwanted intimacy from Elstree. At West Hampstead the driver announces that the train will definitely break down at Kentish Town. On balance I consider that FCC have made a good effort to get me to the outskirts of London for which I should be grateful, so I get off and complete the journey by tube & foot.
FCC have kindly published my question at the top of the Q&A list (a rather misguided adaptation of the LIFO policy, I feel). They include an excellent response that I am sure will be appreciated by all. As an accountant it warms my heart to know that, whatever the level of service they provide, their overriding concern is to make sure they collect their revenue.
I hit the national press, and something called twitter. Wife & children very excited. I’m pleased. Usually I’m just an embarrassment.
Travel home on the delayed something or other. Who cares? It got me there.
Platform unusually crowded. Board random train and find a seat in the deregulated first class section (a first). I experience the unusual pleasure of an extra wide, extra padded filthy seat. Remind myself to check the first class prices at season ticket renewal time (just for a laugh).
Train proceeds at full speed. Standing room only from St Albans. Mild discomfort from Radlett. Unwanted intimacy from Elstree. At West Hampstead the driver announces that the train will definitely break down at Kentish Town. On balance I consider that FCC have made a good effort to get me to the outskirts of London for which I should be grateful, so I get off and complete the journey by tube & foot.
FCC have kindly published my question at the top of the Q&A list (a rather misguided adaptation of the LIFO policy, I feel). They include an excellent response that I am sure will be appreciated by all. As an accountant it warms my heart to know that, whatever the level of service they provide, their overriding concern is to make sure they collect their revenue.
I hit the national press, and something called twitter. Wife & children very excited. I’m pleased. Usually I’m just an embarrassment.
Travel home on the delayed something or other. Who cares? It got me there.
Monday 14th December, 2009
Feeling unusually cheerful for a Monday morning. First Capital Connect’s (‘FCC’) new, improved, reduced service timetable comes into force today and they are running an online ‘meet the managers’ forum between 1 & 3pm. At least I will have some small chance of satisfaction.
Head for the station, catch a random train (no point in planning any further than that). Train unusually slow, even for FCC. Driver apologises for the delay, and for the slow running - he only has half power and is calling an engineer. Driver then announces that he has the solution. Lights go out, lights come back on, train sets off at full speed. Clearly the time honoured solution of ‘switch it off, the switch it back on again’ applies to FCC trains as well as computers. Not bad.
Ticket inspectors, oops, FCC's crack team of revenue protection officers not at Farringdon today. Mildly disappointed.
Completely forgot about online forum until 2.55pm. Submit question at 2.57pm. Await call from FCC offering full refund of season ticket....
Out on the town this evening. Catch 1.02am train from St Pancras. On time! Remove 3 empty sandwich wrappers from seat and fall asleep.
Head for the station, catch a random train (no point in planning any further than that). Train unusually slow, even for FCC. Driver apologises for the delay, and for the slow running - he only has half power and is calling an engineer. Driver then announces that he has the solution. Lights go out, lights come back on, train sets off at full speed. Clearly the time honoured solution of ‘switch it off, the switch it back on again’ applies to FCC trains as well as computers. Not bad.
Ticket inspectors, oops, FCC's crack team of revenue protection officers not at Farringdon today. Mildly disappointed.
Completely forgot about online forum until 2.55pm. Submit question at 2.57pm. Await call from FCC offering full refund of season ticket....
Out on the town this evening. Catch 1.02am train from St Pancras. On time! Remove 3 empty sandwich wrappers from seat and fall asleep.
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